CHANDIGARH, June 2: Your children spend most of their waking hours away from home—at school, tuition centres, playgrounds—it has become crucial for parents to establish strong, open lines of communication. Experts and parents alike say that a child who feels safe talking to their parents is far more likely to share incidents, troubles, or even moments of joy from their daily life.
“We can’t be with them every minute. But we can make sure they don’t feel alone when something happens,” said Seema Bhardwaj, a child psychologist based in Sector 34. “The key is to build a space where children feel seen, heard, and never judged. If they know their parents are their safe place, they’ll talk.”
The issue is more urgent than ever, given the rising incidents of bullying, peer pressure, abuse, and emotional struggles that children may face in schools or online. Just last week, a Class 7 student from Panchkula confided in his mother about being teased for weeks by older students. “I only told her because she always listens. She doesn’t scold first. She hugs me first,” the boy told this reporter.
This kind of trust, experts say, is not built overnight. It comes from a consistent pattern of listening, talking, and being present in small everyday moments. According to Bhardwaj, parents must “lower the wall” between themselves and their children.
“Gone are the days when ‘Because I said so’ was the end of a conversation,” she said. “Today’s children are curious, emotionally aware, and very perceptive. If they sense fear or distance, they will not open up.”
Many parents in Chandigarh are already adapting. Harvinder Kaur, a mother of two school-going children in Mohali, said that she has made it a rule to talk to her kids every night before bed—no phones, no distractions. “They tell me who their friends are, who was absent from class, who fought over lunch. It sounds small, but this is where big stories start. I want to be the first to hear them, not the last.”
Child counsellors note that one of the most common problems children face is the fear of being misunderstood or punished. If they do something wrong—or worse, if something wrong is done to them—they often hesitate to speak up, fearing a scolding rather than support.
“You have to become their friend, not their inspector,” said Dr. Arvind Khullar, a senior counsellor with a private school in Chandigarh. “It’s not about abandoning discipline. It’s about giving them space to express, even when they make mistakes.”
Communication also plays a crucial role in detecting early signs of trouble. Children may not always say, “I’m being bullied,” but they may mention a “friend” who makes them uncomfortable, or that they don’t want to go to school without clear reasons.
“If you are tuned in, if you are talking daily, you’ll catch these hints,” Dr. Khullar said. “But if you only talk when there’s a problem, the child will hide their real feelings.”
The growing awareness among schools is also helping. Several institutions in the Tricity have started parent-child communication workshops. St. John’s School in Sector 26 recently held an interactive session where parents were taught how to ask questions without triggering defensiveness.
“Instead of asking, ‘Why did you do this?’ try saying, ‘Tell me what happened, I’m listening,’” said Nidhi Jain, who conducted the workshop. “Children respond much better when they feel they are not on trial.”
Even so, the effort must begin at home. Communication is not just about questions and answers, it’s about presence and attention. As Kaur put it, “If you’re always on your phone when they’re trying to tell you something, they’ll stop trying.”
Children’s emotional safety is deeply tied to how much they trust the adults in their life. A friendly, open parent becomes a child’s first emotional anchor. The consequences of not having this connection can be severe—ranging from silent suffering to delayed reporting of abuse, or worse, normalising harmful behaviour.
“Every time a child says, ‘I didn’t tell my parents because they won’t understand,’ it’s a failure of communication,” said Bhardwaj. “We must fix that.”
The good news is that it’s never too late. Parents can begin with simple steps: share their own stories, admit their mistakes, ask their children about their day with genuine interest, and most importantly, listen.
As Kaur summed it up, “I don’t want to be the last to know what happened at school. I want to be the first person they run to—whether it’s a scraped knee, a fight with a friend, or a confusing feeling they can’t name.”
In a time when children are surrounded by multiple influences and potential dangers, being a present, communicative parent is not optional—it’s essential.
